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Monday, June 19, 2017

Loneliness (for a sudden)

I don't know why, but that kind of feeling (loneliness), It comes for a sudden, my brother went back to the place he work last 2 weeks and now my friend is going outstation for work and soon another best friend is going to work at foreign country too and all of a sudden I felt my life is going to be very quite and peaceful.

I love silent and peaceful but sometimes I felt boring and I miss the past so much, I wish I m the Guardian of the time so that I could travel back to the past and fix all my mistake, fix everything that I felt regret and make it perfect. I wish for a perfect life but the more I wish, the further it is for me to achieve. I guess people never satisfied of what they have currently. 

I start a lot of daydreaming recently, maybe because of loneliness. Forgot to mention another friend has changed his career and he has his own new friends and we rarely met ever since he moves on to his new career, all I saw in his Facebook posting was hanging around and enjoy his life with his new friends. Another friend continues his study at another state. 

Well, friends come and goes, but this time it did not come but goes faster than ever. 

I m slowing the pace of life now, I guess it is time for me to stop thinking too much, stop rushing, stop all my previous entertainment life. Life goes on, I shouldn't stay the same forever. I felt tired most of the time, I realize that I m no longer young. 2 years ago, I always hang out with my friends, enjoy my life to the max, only be at home after 2 am, but still can stay awake the next morning at work, but now 11 pm is my sleeping time but 6 to 7 hours sleep still makes me felt tired and sleepy the next day. How I wish I was still young and energetic. 

I really miss the past, but I can't turn young anymore, how sad... If I have given a choice to start over again, I would like to take good care of my body since very young age so that I would remain young, healthy and energetic, I hate myself for being weak and got sick easily.

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